Project Runway: The Musical
by PsychicSisters
Summary: Season 2 Project Runways: 4 designers work on creating the perfect skating costume for Michelle Kwan. Hilarity, and music, ensues.
1. Act 1

Welcome to Project Runway: The Musical! This was inspired by many viewings of Project Runway, as well as that one section that had this same title of the reunion show of Season 2. The Psychic Sisters claim no ownership of Project Runway or of any of the "characters". Some of the lines and parts of songs were borrowed from the actual show.

Enjoy the show!

Act 1, Scene 1:

Teenagers 2 and 3 onstage, watching TV

Teenager 1 walks in

Teenager 1: Hey, what are you watching?

Teenager 2: I dunno, it's this Project Runway show. It's got Heidi Klum in it.

Teenager 1 sits down

Teenager 3: Something about designers. They make clothes I think.

Teenager 2: Shh, it's starting.

Act 1, Scene 2:

Heidi, Daniel, Andrae, Santino, and Kara are onstage

Heidi: Welcome to Project Runway. Your first challenge will be designing for someone I hope you have all heard of before. You will be designing a skating costume for 19-time silver medalist Michelle Kwan!

Michelle enters, the designers clap

Michelle: You will be designing my costume for the nationals this year. A skating costume needs to be something flexible, that moves with me. It also needs to stand out on the ice. I came here because I wanted to stand out from the other skaters. Because I'm going to WIN that gold, I'm going to WIN IT!

Everyone shrinks away from Michelle

Heidi: I am giving you two hundred dollars and one hour to shop. Good luck designers!

Designers exit.

Act 1, Scene 3:

The designers are milling about the fabric store

Santino (to employee): Chiffon. I want layers and LAYERS of chiffon.

Daniel: Kara, what do you think of this color?

Kara: Hmm, you might want something brighter.

Andrae (to employee): No, no, I wanted GOLD spandex. Why are you bringing me honey? Oh, this will never do. Shakes head

Tim Gunn: Designers, you have one minute and forty-seven seconds.

We see the designers exiting the fabric store


	2. Act 2

Act 2, Scene 1:

The designers are in the workroom, all working quietly

Kara goes to work on the overlock machine

The overlock makes funny noises

Kara: Andrae? Could you come here a second?

Andre: Sure, what's up?

Kara gestures to the machine

Kara: It broke.

Andrae looks at the overlock

Kara: Is it bad?

Andrae: Yep.

Kara: Oh- censored

Daniel: What's going on?

Andrae: She broke the overlock.

Santino: WHAT?

Andrae, Santino, and Daniel sing _Kara the Overlock Downer_

Who broke the machine

The lovely machine

That makes stretchy sewing

So perfect and clean?

Kara,

The overlock downer.

Yes it's Kara,

The overlock downer.

She broke the machine

The lovely machine

That makes stretchy sewing

So perfect and clean.

Kara,

The overlock downer.

Yes it's Kara,

The overlock downer.

Cut to an image of Kara curled up in a ball in the corner

Andrae goes over to work on the overlock, and while he works, he sings _No One's Gonna Sew No More_

The overlock's broken

All hope is lost

So I better fix it

No matter the cost

Or no one's gonna sew

No more, no more

No one's gonna sew no more.

Kara made it break

But she can't repair

But we gotta have clothes

For the models to wear

No one's gonna sew

No more, no more

No one's gonna sew no more.

Andrae mutters to himself, shakes his head, and walks out

Act Two, Scene Two:

Enter Tim Gunn

Tim: How's it coming, designers?

Daniel: Well, Kara broke the overlock.

Kara kicks Daniel

Daniel: OW!

Tim: I see…

Tim walks over to Santino

Tim: Santino... I'm concerned about you. I think the feather boa is too much.

Santino: You think so?

Tim: I don't want you to have to leave tomorrow. You don't want your model going down the runway looking like a pink chicken.

Santino: She won't, I promise.

Tim: Okay, make it work.

Tim looks around

Tim: What happened to Andrae?

Daniel: He was just here fixing the overlock a moment ago!

Tim: Hmm.

Exit Tim Gunn

Santino: What happened to Andrae? All he cares about is Andre. He never tells Andre that his feather boa is too much.

Daniel Franco: I know how you feel, Santino. Let it out.

Daniel pats Santino on the arm

Santino: He's always ragging on all of us!

Santino, Kara, and Daniel sing _Tim Gunn/What Happened to Andre?_

Tim Gunn, Tim Gunn

When he calls your name you're done

He always says to make it work

But you can't tell him that he's a jerk

And finally then he is gone

Leaving you saying, "Carry on."

Tim Gunn, Tim Gunn

When he calls your name, you're done.

What happened to Andrae?

Andrae, what's the matter with Andrae?

He only cares about Andre!

Cause Andrae's his love!

Tim returns, leading Andrae by the arm

Tim: Don't get lost on me again! He kisses Andrae on the head

Tim sees that everyone was watching him

Tim: Um, Carry on. He races out

Act Two, Scene 3:

Much later in the day

Andrae: I've fixed it!

Daniel: Oh, good, maybe we can get some work done.

Kara: Ugh, I can't wait to get back so I can get some sleep…

Santino from out of the camera shot: Where the HELL is my chiffon?

Andrae: Uh oh…

Santino: Somebody's got my chiffon… Chiffon doesn't just walk off by itself, you know!

Santino sings _Where the Hell is My Chiffon?_

Where the hell is my chiffon?

Someone tell me, where's it gone?

I know you have it under there,

I just made you say underwear...

Chiffon, chiffon, I want it back

It's the only fabric that I lack

Santino's angry, can't you tell?

Give it back or you'll go to hell!

Where the hell is my chiffon?

Someone tell me, where's it gone?

I know you have it hidden away

Hoping I'll go home today.

Where the hell is my chiffon?

Give it back or it is ONN!

Daniel: Looks down Oh, I was just sitting on it.

Santino grabs the chiffon and stomps off


	3. Act 3

Act 3, Scene 1:

It is the day of the runway show. The judges and Heidi sit on one side of the runway, and the designers sit on the other

Kara's model comes down the runway wearing a costume of gray and red with feathers and beads sewn delicately on the bodice

Andrae's model comes down the runway in a costume of gold spandex and lame

Santino's model comes down the runway in… chiffon

Daniel's model struts the runway in a costume best described as a failed attempt at lederhosen, among other things

Heidi: Can the designers please step onto the runway? Models, please join your designers.

The designers and models line up on the runway

Heidi: First will be Santino.

Nina: Santino, we've told you again and again, enough is enough! Your model looks like.. waves hand around a… peacock on steroids!

Santino: This is MY vision, and if it's my vision for her to look like a peacock on steroids, then she damn well should!

Michael: Michelle, what do you think of the costume?

Michelle: It's just too heavy to skate in.

Heidi: Okay, next will be Andrae.

Nina: Andrae, what was your vision?

Andrae: Well, Michelle is going for the gold, so I wanted her to be able to be one with the gold. I want her to BE the gold!

Michael: Uh huh… Andrae, this doesn't look finished.

Andrae: I didn't have time… I was busy fixing the overlock which Kara broke gives Kara dirty look so everyone would be able to finish their designs, and because of that I just didn't have time… he trails off crying

Michael: We don't need all the explaination, Andrae. We just want results.

Nina: Anyways, you take yourself too seriously… It's just fashion!

Michael: Yeah, it's just fashion! Lighten up!

Michael and Nina sing _Lighten Up, it's Just Fashion_

Fashion! Lighten up it's just fashion!

Lighten up it's just fashion!

Just the clothes we wear!

Fashion! Lighten up it's just fashion!

Lighten up it's just fashion!

Just artistic expression!

Fashion!

Andrae: Okay…

Heidi: Next will be Kara.

Nina: Tell us about your design Kara.

Kara: Well, the red in the skirt is symbolic of fire, and the power it has, and the feathers show how she is a bird, a phoenix rising from the flames despite opposition and people looking down on her. Just how Michelle will rise and overcome to finally seek the gold. Oh, and it's all hand stitched since the overlock broke.

The judges simply nod, in too much awe to say anything

Heidi: Last, I'll call on Daniel.

Michael: So… what exactly is your vision?

Daniel: Well, I was inspired by Heidi's beauty, so I created this to be representative of her homeland. pause I love you Heidi.

awkward silence

Nina: Daniel… it… doesn't look like anything. It's not flattering on the model in the least, and certainly wouldn't be skate-able.

Michelle: I agree. The costume is just not something I would be able to skate in.

Heidi: Okay, you all may leave the runway while the judges deliberate.

The designers and models go backstage

Heidi: So what did you think of Santino's design?

Nina: There was just too much. Simply not skate-able.

Michael: He needs to learn to change his ways.

Heidi: Well, what about Andrae's?

Michael: We didn't need his sob story! We just wanted results.

Nina: He took himself, and his design too seriously. How serious can you be when dealing with figure skating costumes?

Michelle: Very. gives Nina a bit of a scathing look

Michael: Anyway, it was unfinished.

Heidi: What about Daniel Franco's?

Nina: Oh, that was just terrible. He destroyed that poor model. She looked like… a dollop of mashed potatoes in lederhosen!

Heidi: Badly made lederhosen at that.

Michael: He just doesn't have the right eye for design.

Heidi: What did you think of Kara's design?

Nina: Marvelous.

Michael: Oh, it was divine!

Nina: I have nothing bad to say about it!

Michael: And hand stitched too!

Michelle: It was ugly.

Nina and Michael: What?

Michellein tears: All the other skaters are gonna laugh at meeee…..

Nina: No, no, dear, they'll be admiring your beautiful costume!

Michelle: No! I'm so sick of being second place. These are all silver medal costumes. I want GOLD!

Heidi: Michelle, calm down… I think we have come to our decision.

Act 3, Scene 2:

The designers are back on the runway

Heidi: Everyone is on pins and needles wondering who will be our winner, and who will be out. long pause Our winner in this challenge is Kara. Michelle will be wearing your design in a skating competition.

Michelle: Kara, I'll be… pleased... to wear your design to the nationals this year.

Kara leaves the runway

Heidi: Andrae, you may leave the runway.

Andrae skips off the runway

Heidi: Santino. Your design was just too much, and too heavy to skate in. Daniel, your vision did not come through, and the execution was simply not there. long pause Daniel, I'm sorry, you're out.

Daniel takes a little longer than he should to kiss Heidi's cheeks

Heidi: Auf Wiederhesen.

Act 3, Scene 3:

The remaining designers are backstage afterwards and they sing _Dan Franco, Where Did You Go?_

Dan Franco, where did you go?

Dan Franco, where did you go?

(I barely got to know ya!)

Dan Franco, where did you go?

Dan Franco, where did you go?

(See you on season 3!)

Dan Franco, where did you go?

Dan Franco, where did you go?

(Don't give up!)

Dan Franco, where did you go?

Dan Franco, where, did, you... GO!

Fin.


End file.
